


What Love Is

by storiesofchaos



Series: Avengers: Infinity War [2]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: An Insight into Gamora's Thoughts During the Movie, Angst and Feels, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Character Study, F/M, Gamora just needs a hug, Gen, Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, and maybe me too after writing this, everyone is sad, sister feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-06 10:06:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14639586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesofchaos/pseuds/storiesofchaos
Summary: Gamora was falling.





	What Love Is

**Author's Note:**

> I've written this mainly out of memory, so apologies if anything is wrong. :)

 Gamora was falling.

She knew her body was, but her mind felt like it was too, swirling with the events that had led up to this moment.

The first thing she remembered was learning of Thanos making his way across the galaxy. She knew that this was bound to happen, yet it didn't stop her from having that tangible, fearsome dread at the mere idea. Especially now that she understood love - with her friends, her sister, her Peter _._

That thought had sent a chilled shiver through her whole body, heart aching at the fear of losing this precious love when she had only just gotten it.

And that was just how cruel the universe was.

Yet she had made up her mind on what she was to do. Shoulders back, chin up, she could do this. She _had_ to do this.  

Peter had sensed that she was serious and he dropped the jokes that were second nature to him. She understood though, how when your life gets so devastating that you practically live on those moments of amusement and jests. Gamora could hear his soul shake, could nearly hear it tremble when she uttered the words, “. . .promise me, you'll kill me.” He was reluctant to agree, this she knew, but he did anyways. She only hoped he would keep his word, when the time came.

And then that moment arrived, Gamora was held tight in Thanos’ grip and Peter pointed the blaster at her with shaking hands and wide eyes. She was terrified, her mind at war with itself. She knew she had to die, could never let Thanos get the information she knew, yet she didn't want to go. Not yet, not now, not when this love between her and Peter was so new, not when she needed to see her sister just once more and to tell her friends how much she appreciated them.

She realized something, then.

_You're doing this for them._

Heart set in determination, she knew what she had to say.

“I love you more than anything,” she told Peter breathlessly, that final, desperate, precious moment. And him saying it back.

He was going to shoot and she was ready. One, two, three —

Nothing. Her heart shattered, feeling so broken and lost, and she saw Peter's face for the last time before she was taken away.

She had thought she would never have to feel that complete hatred that came with this place ever again. Hatred of Thanos, of his chair, of his planet, of _herself._ Hatred of what he thought was glory _._

Seeing her sister strung up like a puppet again made her even more furious, but now it was a dull, throbbing sort of anger – full of confusion and despair. She couldn't bear to watch Nebula scream in pain, yet couldn't risk telling Thanos the truth about the Stone. She hated him and his ways of twisting people's hearts with their loved ones’ suffering, which made her force herself to tell that bastard where the Stone truly was.

She remembered touching her sister's face, hoping to the universe she wouldn't be hurt again. Gamora knew Nebula could easily take care of herself but she didn't think she could risk another dose of pain and torture.  

Then, the journey on Vormir. Trailing behind Thanos, she couldn't feel anything but a numbing feeling of hopelessness. Thinking of the bad things that had happened throughout her life made her soul crumble, yet thinking of the happy moments made it hurt even more.

When the price that Thanos would have to pay for the Stone was said, Gamora at once felt an intense, frenzied relief. That monster couldn't possiblylove anyone or anything but himself, he _wasn't able to_.

Or so she had thought.

And just like she herself had once thought she could never have human emotions, she was once again surprised. Those tears, they couldn't possibly —

“They are not for him.”

That couldn't be! All her life she had hated him, _detested_ him, and she let him know that too. How then, after all that?

“No, this isn't love!” she said, and she would deny it until her last breath. It couldn't be, she couldn't bear to have that weight on her chest that felt like it was going to crush her into a million pieces, not when she had been nearly happy with herself for the first time in all of her existence.

Too many thoughts and feelings were rapidly racing through her mind, too many that her head pounded and she couldn't move, she couldn't do anything but _deny deny deny._

But he somehow looked so broken, and resigned too. He was really going to do this, and if that didn't make him all the more despisable . . .

She hurriedly slipped her dagger out, the one he had given her so long ago, and without a thought stabbed herself through the stomach, wanting nothing more than to die at her own hands than his. 

But it turned to bubbles, just like the gun had.

She was too overwhelmed now, he kept ruining everything and she wanted to be rid of this moment, and the Stone wasn't even in her mind until —

_Peter._

Her wonderful, stupid Peter, with his music and bad humor and the way she couldn't resist him. Her mind was going soft at the thought of him, yet she recognized her body was struggling with Thanos and she yelled and cried for her life.

It was as if it were in slow motion. He was too strong for her and all she could feel was the open air behind her before she was flying backwards through it.

_Even for you._

That is what Thanos had said to her, but she still did not believe him. A person didn't give up who they love most for what, power? That was what kept her at least a little bit sane, the idea that he wouldn't have sacrificed her if he had truly been capable of love.

He was the one who pushed any semblance of love away, with his crooked ideals and habit of, oh, killing off half a population?

Suddenly a part of her gently pushed into her thoughts and made her realize that her world _was_ in slow motion and she should have hit the ground by now. With this came the fact that she was dying.

She was falling to her death yet she felt as if she had never been more terrified and at peace in all of her life.

And that was where she was now, the events leading up to this moment flashing before her eyes, her heart breaking all the more with every replay.

Her first time meeting Peter, happy moments with the Guardians, slow dancing on the balcony, their first kiss, becoming closer with her sister, the feeling of being in love.

She felt that all the more greatly, felt that her soul was so full of love and sorrow that it would encompass her entire being and make her _breathe._

But that was not so, and she felt she was nearing the end.

Her last thought was something she had said which felt like ages ago.

_“I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy.”_

Now as she hit the ground full force, sprawled out and taking her last breath, she truly wished that she _was_ dying surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy – also known as, her best friends.


End file.
